While in Syria..

I've been contemplating while I sat here tonight, on what I should write about today. Its been a while and even though I have so much time to be sitting and writing (since I am still technically jobless - no surprises there considering where I'm currently living) I still don't, maybe its a lack of motivation or maybe its just the lazy in me?

As I said, this post could have been about the Copenhagen Summit on Climate Change, or on Islam or even on government silliness (not restricted to any country) in whatever matter, But I choose to write about ignorant, selfish, unbelievably stupid and inconsiderate things that Syrian people (not everyone) usually do in public. Ofcourse this will require at least an essay that is 27 pages long so I will be talking about one thing every week - just so that I do not shock people who are reading this that live in a more civilized country. So for today, I shall talk about my favourite topic (which I usually complain about every single day): Driving in Syria. I really do get excited when I talk about driving in Syria and seriously become extra motivated, I am right now grinning at my laptop screen as the clicks of the keyboard gradually get louder.. I shall split this into subsections so that you don't get confused:

Rules.. really?:
Rules while driving in Syria are non existing. You can virtually stop where ever you want if your man enough you can even stop on a high way but that will just be pushing your luck; you can drive between lanes; you can go into a roundabout at a speed of approximately 165 Km/second (as long as there are no cameras); you can drive counter-flow; you can babysit your child while driving or you can even drive without any lights on (this one is for those military vehicles). Don't get me wrong people do stop on traffic lights just because they really hate paying those fees if a damn traffic policeman or camera gets them.


High beam headlights, Syrians' favourite:

Wherever you drive, be sure to be blinded by the high beam headlights (or more commonly known as 'Highlights') from cars driving 5 meters behind you, or cars coming from the other side. In some cases you can't blame some people since the roads might not be fully lit or lit at all, but come on people, Damascus is full of signs saying something along the lines of "driving requires manners and that driving properly shows how civilized a person is".. all in vein.

The Mezzeh Autostrade.. or is it?:

The Mezzeh autostrade is not really an autostrade (Italian for highway). First of all there is approximately 27 traffic lights. Secondly you are restricted to a speed of 60 Km/hour in whatever lane your in. And finally, although there are underpasses for pedestrians everyone crosses the road on the 'autostrade', there are even zebra crossings in front of the traffic lights, which brings me to the next point.

Crossing Roads:

A pedestrian may cross from where ever they want. A pedestrian can at times consider him/herself a moving vehicle and walk between cars until there is an opening between the traffic that would enable him/her to move on a lane closer to the side they wish to be on. Pedestrians are really dangerous and suicidal if your new to this country, as they will not wait for you to stop, for them to decide to cross the road once they get bored of waiting.

Traffic light timers:

A good invention. Lets you know exactly how many seconds of your life your wasting waiting for the traffic light to turn green. The benefit of those timers are not quite clear, here taxi drivers that I have been with think they are a method of entertainment and statistically 6 out of 10 drivers will ask you (if your in the passenger seat next to the driver) "will we make it?" and starts to speed up in order to "make it". In other instances the timer is a means of notifying those stuck way behind In a traffic when they should start blasting their horns, or for those in the front can use the timer to either drag race or waste a couple of seconds and see how pissed off those behind them get.

Roads like Silk:

Roads in Syria in general are shit. I apologize but there is no other way to put this. A well laid road in Syria is one which has 7 or less holes in it. When driving in Syria be sure to have a paper bag with you, like the ones they have on airplanes. They say Damascus is the oldest inhabited city in the world, and those roads are the evidence.

Taxis and other Public Vehicles:

Should be considered as hazard. Where to start...!?

Traffic policemen:

If it is the end of the month and traffic policemen are broke, they will pull anyone over for whatever reason it is no matter how unimportant you think it is (indecent looking car for example) and will try to get you to bribe them so that they will let you go.

and to round up something from my last personal experience of driving in Syria.

As I drove yesterday in the suburbs of Damascus, I had to cross a two way bridge that fits exactly two vehicles, to get where I wanted to go. I was driving right behind a pick-up car and as usual the load was a couple of men. All of a sudden and with no prior notice, the driver of that pick-up decided or most probably had made a previous decision with the three men at the back to drop them off on top of the bridge for some strange reason, knowing that they would eventually have to walk to either side of the bridge to get to the place where the micro-buses (little white buses) usually pass by. having little time to act and no choice of stopping I had to take the idiot over; I barely missed him and the glare of the 'highlights' from cars approaching from the other side, struck my eyes nearly blinding me during the process; I had to quickly swerve back into the right lane nearly missing the car and subsequent cars from the other side. Having avoided crashing, I also avoided ending up in prison that day as I decided not to kill that guy ("guy" is not the word or words in my head right now).